On May 11, 2023 The Federal Public Health Emergency known as the COVID-19 Pandemic, ended. It was written in words in many emails, texts, and newsletters. The news was everywhere and it could not be avoided.
As someone, who is chronically ill and graduated during the pandemic, I could not avoid the news. It was surprising and new to me. I knew that the day was coming but I was and still am stuck in that mindset where I have to be at home with my parents.
I guess what I am trying to say is that: life didn't change for me when the pandemic ended. Well, actually some things did change for me. I got a new therapist, I saw a friend in-person, and I started going on walks in my neighborhood. However, I am still a two year post-grad who has taken up a bunch of contract, freelance, and volunteer positions. I am still wearing my mask almost everywhere I go. I am quite honestly scared for the future, especially since I am a writer. And since I can't drive, I have been home alone a lot, taking care of my parents house when they go on work trips.
I have been isolated since the Federal pandemic ended. Now, I am anxious to go out and use public transportation by myself. I am scared to talk to people in-person. I don't know how to talk to people besides my parents and my neighbors. I have been isolated in this house and mindset for years. And as an adult, I am supposed to make decisions on my own and figure things out through the internet. I am just trying to figure life out.
One thing is for sure, that was my anxiety speaking to me. I needed to write those thoughts to show people that they aren't alone. It's okay to be anxious about going out alone, it is okay to be unemployed, and scared for the future.
It was also my imposter syndrome speaking. I feel like I haven't been doing anything. I have been stuck in this world where all I see is my laptop, phone, and my kindle every day. It's part of life being a gen-z. We rely on technology all the time. It's exhausting.
On the bright side, I have been doing things.
I created a Bookstagram: @asian_bookstorekat
I got a new therapist
I got a freelance job
I learned how to make steak by myself
I read 27 books this year so far...
I have been binging a lot of TV
I made over 50 bracelets to hand out at concerts
I have survived at home alone for over 12 days
I have been figuring it out
I made new online friends
I got tickets to 7 concerts
I am making progress post-pandemic, post-isolation, and post-graduation. It feels like it's taking longer for me though because I am still stuck in that mindset where I rely on my parents. They help me get my medicines, insulin, and drive me places since I am disabled and cannot drive but that does not define me as a person.
I am going to keep figuring it out.
It's all part of being independent.
Life is a climb but the view is great.- Miley Cyrus
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